Tim Tebow for beginners. John Elway uses fictional movie business plan to tank. | PrepForce

Tim Tebow for beginners. John Elway uses fictional movie business plan to tank.

So you are at work. You wanna chime in the Tebow stuff but you haven’t really gotten the jist of it. Or you don’t watch a lot of NFL. You are curious. You want to fit in. You want to have an opinion.

Ok, so Tim Tebow was a quarterback that played for the Florida Gators. He won a National Championship there, he was / is widely regarded as one of the greatest college football players of all-time. But here is the thing, Tebow as one of those running quarterbacks that runs more than he throws. In the NFL, these guys usually do not translate well. College football is a lot different than the NFL in terms of style.

When the NFL draft came up a couple of years ago, the word on the street was that Tebow might not even be drafted! Yep, one of the greatest college football players of all-time would potentially not be drafted by an NFL team. Worsening the scenario, Tebow actually skipped the throwing part of the NFL Combine, where NFL teams evaluate talent, which led many to suspect that his terrible college throwing motion was still, well, terrible. But Tebow was a fan favorite and many NFL fans wanted their teams to draft Tebow, which led to lots of laughter about how dumb fans are.

Here’s the other catch: Tebow loves God. A lot. Tebow loves God the same way Charlie Sheen loves porn stars. Whenever he gives an interview, he famously thanks his “lord and savior Jesus Christ.” This rubs some people the wrong way.

So to recap, Tebow loves God. If God exist, he loves Tebow. Tebow throws a football with the same grace that a pelican would have attempting to play the piano. The NFL doesn’t like running quarterbacks because they never really work out. Tebow won a lot in college at Florida. Fans are really dumb.

On the day of the 2010 NFL draft, Denver stuns the sports world by drafting Tim Tebow at the 25th overall spot.  At the time, a guy named Josh Mcdaniels is the head coach and responsible for the pick. Here is the reason he gave for Denver’s first two selections, one of which was Tebow.

“We want players who are tough, smart, have great character, love football and are passionate about coming here and helping the Broncos win a championship. I think both players fit that role, and I think that’s something that we’re looking for in all of our players. What we’re trying to build here is team chemistry and a team that cares about winning and winning a championship, and that’s it.”

Tim Tebow responds with this: “My greatest joy in Denver is going to be to repay Coach McDaniels for believing in me.” Tebow also said of his critics, “I just have a passion to play football. When you do things different than other people sometimes do them, and you don’t settle for just being average, you open yourself up for criticism. But, I’m ready for it. I’ve learned to live with it. I never just wanted to do things the same way everybody else does.”

Now, Tebow is a Bronco. He doesn’t play. Josh Mcdaniels is fired that same year. Tebow island seems super lonely. John Elways, one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time ends up taking the role as GM of the Broncos. Elway was himself, a Bronco. If Elway urinated in gasoline and asked a Denver resident to drink it, they would.  Denver loves them some Elway.

When the 2011 season opens up, they have this quarterback named Kyle Orton starting. A new coach named John Fox. Tebow is still being Tebow and praying for playing time. The Broncos are terrible. They are picked by many experts to be terrible and they live up to those expectations immediately and without hesitation. They start out with 1 win and 4 losses.

This is where things get great.

Denver fans start crying for Tebow because they are desperate for a win. John Elway, the new GM known for his lemony fresh urine, thinks Tebow stinks.  The Broncos, again, only have 1 win. So the Broncos decide to do something absolutely crazy. Elway decides to have John Fox start Tebow. Why? Ok, check this out, so the Broncos only have 1 win, Elway wants to draft this quarterback named Andrew Luck, but Luck will go to the worst team in the NFL at the end of the year, because that’s how it works. So, you got it, one of the greatest college football players of all-time was put in to play because they figured he’d suck so bad, they could draft Andrew Luck.  This is unprecedented but, it has happened once before, to the Cleveland Indians in a movie named Major League. Not even in real life, like in a movie.

You can’t make this up. So Tebow is set to start. Fans happy. The Broncos will stink. Elways gets his Stanford quarterback in Luck. Denver goes on to live happily ever after. Tebow is selling socks at Footlocker in his future.

So John Elway uses a strategy only deployed once, in a comedy movie, and Tebow is starting quarterback in Denver.

Now, when this happens, I get a text from my friend Chris:

-I don’t get it, I think Tebow will be good. Am I dumb?

To which I reply:

-I was thinking the same thing, people are wildly making fun of me for this.

Here is the problem with sports today: Fantasy Sports. Sports is now compartmentalized with stats. No one has any instincts anymore. There are certain intangibles that always exist in winners. See Kobe, Jordan, Tiger, Slater. Sure, ability needs to be there, but winners find ways to win. Tebow, it seemed to me, had this winner’s mentality. John Elway used a fictional movie business plan and put this guy in to lose. This speech doesn’t show up on Fantasy numbers. How do you think he took knowing he was put in to lose?

The Broncos are 1 win, 4 losses. They start Tebow. He wins the next 7 of 8 games. Excuses fly. Tebow has nothing to do with any of these wins, according to all his haters. The haters keep saying every week that he will get exposed, and then he wins, then the haters say he had nothing to do with it. Unless its fantasy stats, no one can understand how he’s doing it, therefore, it must not exist. Here are some fun notes.

-Before the Tebows played the Jets, Jets defensive star Darrel Revis made wisecracks about Tebow. Revis was also seen getting out of the way of Revis during that game so he didn’t have to tackle him. Tebows beat the Jets, who were supposedly good, until they were Tebowed, then suddenly they sucked.

-Elway has a weekly radio gig in Denver. He is sour puss over Tebow and won’t give him credit. Denver people are starting to hate Elway. Like this here…

-I was at the game where the Chargers got Tebowed. Charger fans are, by in large, annoying and silly. It was awesome watching them get Tebowed.

Tebow is now the most compelling story in sports. He was set up to lose Major League style, but he can’t stop winning. It’s some of the best TV in sports. Ever. And it’s not even close.