I was on Skype with my friend the other day, I asked him what he thought about the Penn State scandal. I expected, of course, predictable back-and-forth over a situation that host no real positives. Instead, he told me he wasn’t quite clear on what’s going on but clearly knew it was a bad situation. Later that night, I was on the phone with my girlfriend, she mentioned it and asked if I divulge more details because she wasn’t really clear either. I told her its running on the news 24/7. She then told me that she has a job. Because that’s what girlfriends do, they remind you of things like that. Like jobs. I watch SportsCenter during the day, and Around The Horn (my fav) and then I call it a day and go down to the fancy health bar for some squeezed organic juices and talk about things like “its a pretty day today” with other, like-minded, non-job having people. The next morning my friends wife asked me about the scandal, she wasn’t sure the logistics either, and apparently I am the go-to guy for sports items due to my proximity to a 42 inch HD Television.

I began to think about all this. Remember OJ? I mean, that was before the Internet, and yet, who didn’t know every single detail that was going on? Remember all the armchair attorneys after that? As popular as this Penn State disaster is, its so fragmented and furiously fast at this point, that people don’t even know where to start to understand the entire greater whole. There is just a lot of crap, and its all randomly placed out there which makes it tough for people to really get. That’s why I decided to write a “Penn State scandal for dummies” column, so that people can use this as a quick read that breaks down the important elements. And I titled the column using “dummies” based on the famous line of books, not because I think people that don’t get all the details in this case are dummies.

On Saturday, November 5th, Jerry Sandusky was indicted by a grand jury for sexually abusing 8 boys. Penn State officials Tim Curley and Gary Shultz were also indicted for perjury and failure to report alleged child abuse. The allegation goes as such: In 2002, another assistant coach at Penn State, Mike McQueary, walked into the Penn State showers and saw that Sandusky was participating in a sexual act with a young boy. He walked away, doing nothing, then told Head Coach Joe Paterno what he saw. Joe Paterno then went to two Penn State officials not named the police, but instead named Tim Curley and Gary Shultz. These two guys promptly told Sandusky to retire, which is different than telling someone to go choke on a metal pipe and calling the police.

Penn State then promptly put into action Sandusky’s retirement package, which featured most notably the ability for Sandusky to still use the Penn State facilities for his charity, Second Mile, a charity which is supposed to provide “help and hope” to children. Sandusky clearly has a different take on what defines “help and hope.” So basically, if you are dirtbag criminal, a Penn State retirement package is apparently a wet dream scenario.

So, that happens, then the fall out begins. Here are the big points to know.

Consistent with most any sexual abuse case, after fallout, the facts start working backwards before they work forward.

2000 – A temporary janitor at Penn State named Jim Calhoun tells coworkers and his supervisor that he saw Sandusky engaging in sexual activities with a young boy in the Penn State locker room showers. Calhoun was noted as very shaken by it. Calhoun also was a veteran of Vietnam, he saw things like bullets flying past his head and bombs and more bullets flying past his head. Penn State promptly did…wait for it…nothing. You can’t say they aren’t consistent.

1998 – A Philadelphia prosecutor named Ray Gricar decided against filing child-sex charges against Jerry Sandusky. In 2005, he went missing. And this started conspiracy talk. Police say they find no link.

On November 9th, Joe Paterno retires with what is seemingly one of the most arrogant and egotistical statements of all time.

I am absolutely devastated by the developments in this case. I grieve for the children and their families, and I pray for their comfort and relief.

I have come to work every day for the last 61 years with one clear goal in mind: To serve the best interests of this university and the young men who have been entrusted to my care. I have the same goal today.

That’s why I have decided to announce my retirement effective at the end of this season. At this moment the Board of Trustees should not spend a single minute discussing my status. They have far more important matters to address. I want to make this as easy for them as I possibly can. This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.

My goals now are to keep my commitments to my players and staff and finish the season with dignity and determination. And then I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to help this University.

How nice of him to take all that pressure off the board of trustees and let them know that they shouldn’t waste time on his behavior. Further, we all couldn’t be more pleased to find out that he is going to spend the rest of his life helping the university. Who is advising this guy? Puck from The Real World?

Nov 9th morning. ESPN Ombudsman gets ticked off at ESPN for not properly covering the scandal.

My TV has turned into a portal that channels nothing but Penn State scandal news. I think everyone’s coverage is just fine.

The night of November 9th, a Penn State kid becomes famous for being intelligent, reasonable. The greatest part is watching his face when some kid starts yelling in support of Paterno.

On November 10th, a story breaks in San Antonio that Sandusky molested a kid at the Alamo Bowl. Seriously.

Nov 10th, Ashton Kutcher tweets. Clearly, this is a big deal, we need to know what Ashton Kutcher is feeling as instantaneous as possible during such a travesty. And here it was.

How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste

He later admitted he was an idiot and has since hired some PR firm or something of the sorts to manage his Tweets. How bad is it when you can’t even Tweet without a team of professionals managing your situation? Ashton is involved with a charity that helps children. He also ruined Three and a Half Men, so he’s like double Satan as far as I am concerned.

On November 11th, Barry Switzer, the former Sooners and Cowboys head coach, came out and said it was practical to believe that every coach knew this was going on.

On Saturday, Penn State hosted Nebraska in a Big Ten rival game. It was, by all accounts, the only game that happened as we got nothing but highlights from this game all day long. Penn State lost. Jay Paterno, son of Joe Paterno, was coaching that day. After the game, he promptly cried during the post-game interview for his dad.  Many people choked on their own vomit. Penn State fans showed support for Paterno throughout the game, furthering the idea that this is college football’s most idiotic fan base.

Yesterday, the Governor of Pennsylvania went on Meet the Press and said that Mike McQueary met legal obligations, but not moral obligations. This is likely something that we galvanize some new laws.

This morning, the CEO of Second Mile resigned.

And, Jerry Sandusky is out on bail today. The judge that let him off is in Second Mile.

I hope this helped.


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